GRU HARBISON Moves To Baghdad!!

It seems that Baghdad (Iraq) is the new Cambodia. After many months of discussions with his top advisers, namely Stuart Pitt, Gru Harbison made the tough call to move his operation from Phnom Penh to the Iraqi capital.

“It was a tough call for me, because I had to leave many of my girlfriends behind. I wanted to bring them, but it’s cheaper to just ditch them and give them bogus forwarding addresses.”

GRU HARBISON

The move was prompted by far more lucrative license plate contracts and AI projects that were too generous to pass up.

“I could make 10x my earnings by throwing license plate parties in Iraq than I ever could in Cambodia

GRU HARBISON

A license plate party consists of American license plate numbers written down on tiny pieces of white paper. At that point the License Plate Tosser, or L.P.T., who is usually Gru or his trusted lieutenant Stuart “Stu” Pitt make it rain on webcam while wearing a snorkel, Daisy Dukes, and black knee-high socks. As a result those who tune in, pay millions of dollars to see the exhibition. These lucrative contracts allow Gru to pay his American-based L.P.G.’s $1 per license plate. Canadian L.P.G.’s make $1 USD for ever 10 license plates from English-speaking provinces and $1USD for ever 25 license plates from Canada’s third world French-speaking province of Quebec.

The move will not affect existing L.P.G.’s who can earn as much as $150,000 in base pay, with bonus packages totaling in excess of $250,000 per annum. For those whose license plates have been photographed without their permission, Gru offers them a free calendar of elderly, toothless Cambodian ladies playing Siku, a Cambodian card game. It’s Gru’s way of saying thank you for making him and his L.P.G.’s rich.

Gru is said to miss Cambodia and thinks of his many illegitimate children often. As of press time, he said he also wanted to send love to his many girlfirends, but especially to Bopha, Malis, Romchong, Chaya, Kolab, and Sok. Oh yeah, and Angel, too. And Lulu.